Julian JP Lee

Dear friends,

I am afraid.

The violence in the Persian Gulf weighs heavy on my mind. Likewise, the threat of Super-intelligent A.I. emerging from the computational arms race seems to cast the future in a deep black. Oh, and have I mentioned the eco-climate collapse that is steadily precipitating all around us?

Friends, I am afraid and I feel like running away from all this to a secret cave in a forest and having to do nothing with it.

Ayn Rand wrote a book called “Atlas Shrugged”, but I am not Atlas.

I am not going to let the world roll off my shoulders like a deadweight. I will not abandon this world even if it feels like the weight of the world is lead on my shoulders, an anvil borne on my back.

I wish I had some wise quip to share that would make it all alright. I wish there was a magic poem that could ease the fear and pain I feel pressing down on me from the world’s great mass. Sadly, I don’t.

Sharon Salzberg once shared the simple phrase Some things just suck. I think I’m starting to see why she felt that this was important to share.

Simply put: it’s true, but often it’s hard to face this truth and live with it.

Some things just suck. Some nights are excruciatingly long. Some sorrows run deeper than words.

Perhaps the invitation for me here is to stop trying to make myself feel better, to stop trying to make the fear and pain go away.

Some things just suck, and this is one of them. The war-mongering, the White House Dumbass, the “lawful” massacre of millions of tiny forest creatures, the greed of psycho-billionaires. Holy guac. These suck soooooooo much. So much.

Perhaps the invitation for me here is to stop trying to make myself feel better.

Perhaps all I need is to carry the world on my back a little longer.

Perhaps with enough steadiness, and patience and grit, I will outlast all the nonsense and ridiculous clownery that is wrecking the world.

And then, I will rest, knowing I did not abandon the Beloved Earth when they needed me most.