Julian JP Lee

Letters from Julian — no. 19

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But I will go down with this ship

And I won’t put my hands up and surrender

There will be no white flag above my door

I’m in love and always will be

—Dido, from White Flag

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Obsessive love is the most antifragile thing outside of economics.

—Nassim Nicholas Taleb

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Dear friends,

In Dido’s song White Flag, she sings about how she will continue loving somebody even after they have broken up.

You could call that unhealthy and obsessive, and in all honesty, I would agree.

However, isn’t there something deeply powerful and inspiring about refusing to stop loving somebody (or something), even when all hope of a satisfactory outcome seems lost?

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Dido may have drawn inspiration from an old maritime saying: The captain goes down with the ship.

In this tradition, the captain of a ship defers their own rescue until all passengers of their sinking vessel are safely off-boarded onto lifeboats or rescue ships. In some cases, the captain loses their life in their process. Bound by their honour and an unwavering duty to their passengers, they forfeit their life.

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One might wonder what drives the captain of the ship to do this.

When I first heard about this, I found it kind of unrealistic, even romantic.

However, upon further reflection, I have come to realise that this kind of honour & unwavering duty may actually be the most powerful kind of love there is.

Scholar Nassim Nicholas Taleb certainly seems to agree.

In his book Skin in the Game, Mr. Taleb explores how relentless & tenacious devotion may be the one of the strongest forms of love there is. He calls this level of investment & dedication in someone (or something) Soul in the Game.

A person has Soul in the Game for someone or something when they absolutely refuse to give up on caring for that person or thing, even if it means they suffer great costs to themselves. Sometimes, their total devotion ultimately costs them their life.

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I’m sharing this simply because it’s how I feel about my calling.

I don’t just desire or seek to help humankind live in deeper harmony with the rest of Nature, I am utterly drawn to it as a dire need in this world that demands my service & care.

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To close, I want to confess that following my calling is difficult. Honestly, it’s tough as nails. It takes guts.

And yet, I have never been more stoked, excited and joyful in my life.

Friends, may you find something that captures and ignites your heart so completely that you wouldn’t trade it for the world. May you find the ship that you’d be willing to captain and, if necessary, go down for.

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In joy,

Julian